just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize