I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize