i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
