Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
