How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
