1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
