Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
