after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
