U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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