we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
