idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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