he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
