The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
When are your genitals available?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
