just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
you never un-have a 4some
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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