So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I want a musical about memes.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
