I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
You pole danced in your parka.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize