Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
