I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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