sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
