This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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