Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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