Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Do vagina's smell?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
