I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
