I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
