TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
