how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
