people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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