i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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