I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
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