Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
