Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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