Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
