Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Randomize
