Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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