a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
