Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
