Sry I called you an 8
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
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