i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Randomize
