having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Boobs speak an international language.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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