If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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