Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
