Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I think I sprained my soul last night
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize