Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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