How'd it feel making her break her religion?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
