so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
