I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
