we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
