Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
