Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
