We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
