All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
as a side note pls kill me
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
