apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
