watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
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