Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize