I am in a vortex of obligation.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
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