I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
