I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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