pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
