the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Randomize
