i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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