I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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