i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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